I remember the evening that God spoke very clearly to me and told me gently but strongly that I had to completely sever all ties with my then boyfriend that I had been with for over four years. It certainly was not a healthy relationship and never actually was from the very beginning, but I loved him and I just couldn’t see beyond him. I couldn’t see how anyone else that had the “high standards” I wanted in a man, would ever accept me and my situation as it was. I was a young, divorced, single mother with three children, two baby daddies, financial issues… and just issues in general. The situation I was in was as good as it was going to get for someone like me. I was with a man who was an ex professional athlete, 6’5” 320lbs, built just the way I liked and money, which meant maybe some level of security; but he constantly lied, cheated, manipulated and verbally abused me. Although I was super in love with him, I realized one day that he first of all was emotionally unavailable to me, second, he just couldn’t really love me and third, I was only in love with an idea because he wasn’t truly anything I needed in a man.
This revelation crushed me. And I was even more wrecked with anguish and pain because of the several things that took place right after and totally confirmed it all. It’s one thing to have a knowing, but another thing for it to be confirmed and become a reality. My worst fears came true, my dreams were shattered and my life felt completely upside down and dark, like someone turned out all the lights on me in a small dark room.
But God in His great mercy and compassion, met me there. Soon after was that night when God interrupted my entire life and gave me those clear instructions to completely cut ties with this man and to not allow him back under any circumstances. “We are done with this” He told me. In that moment I was given a vivid vision of me being this super happy woman that was free… free from all of her shame, bondage and pain that kept me bound and chained to the lies that told me I wasn’t good enough and that I would never be good enough. This was an imperfect woman who was secure in who she was, perfectly loved, whole and healed. God told me that He would love me into becoming that woman and gosh was I desperate to have what He was offering. Healing, wholeness, security, peace, perfect love and acceptance. I surrendered my life right then. I surrendered everything and gave Him all the broken pieces of my life and He gently and tenderly took every single little piece and craftily and creatively put it back together. For what I went through healing came rather quickly and my life has never been the same. It’s been over 10 years now since that story and God has pieced my life together in the most amazing ways. Today I’m married to an amazing man and Pastor for almost 3 years this December and we have one-year old boy/girl twins. He’s richly blessed my life and brought healing to places in my heart that I thought would be impossible for healing to reach.
If you read this all the way through, I imagine that maybe you’re suffering today from the pain of a broken heart as I did. And maybe you’re wondering how you can ever heal from this pain and move towards healing. Sweet friend, can I share with you the one thing that quickly helped me move towards my healing process in the story I shared? Once I did this one thing my healing process accelerated and what should have taken many years for me to heal and recover from took only months! Now, there are levels of healing so I still had deeper levels of healing that took years for me to walk out, but the key to experiencing the quick breakthrough in the healing I had experienced was SURRENDER.
I had surrendered to what He had for me which was healing, wholeness, security, peace, perfect love and acceptance. This meant I had to obey Him in every step I was taking, which meant that I required spending time in God’s presence, seeking and pursuing Him and looking to Him to guide and direct me. It meant that I had to obey His voice when He would tell me “no” to dating, because He didn’t want my healing process to get thwarted by being in another uncertain relationship. So, it meant surrendering my singleness and being single for a long time so that I could properly learn what true love was from the ONE who created love. It meant sacrificing temporary pleasures of going out with friends doing crazy things to spend time reading my bible and getting to know who Jesus was and coming to understand my worth and value that I had in Him. Surrender and obedience to His Word got me through the healing process and I fell in love another man named Jesus. In Him I found everything I was ever searching for.
His Word says “Seek first the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously and He will give you everything you need.” (Matt. 6:33)
If you’re needing healing from a broken heart, hope, joy, peace, provision, help… God desires to meet you at your point of need. He met me where I was at and as I took His hand and gave Him all that I was, my journey to healing quickly began. I don’t know what your healing journey will look like, but one thing I can be certain of is that God is so FAITHFUL. He is faithful to His Word and does not lie. When we SURRENDER our life and pain to Him, He is sure to bring healing, wholeness, peace, joy and strength to you. Hold on and trust Him! I look forward to hearing your testimony of how God brought you through.